If I leave you, I love you...

Someone once told me not to worry about the people in my past because there's a reason they didn't make it to your future. But what if you force someone out of your life? What if you go out of your way to find reasons to leave a person?

That's me. I'm a leaver. I've been known to disappear out of people's lives as quickly as I appeared in them. I get close to you, get under your skin and make it so that you have no choice but to love me. And then, just like that...I disappear.

Kinda weird, huh? Or not really? I don't know. I don't even know why I'm blogging about this. Or why I'm crying as I type this. Oh yeah, that's right. Him.

Some of you may know who him is. I haven't known him for very long, but in the short time I've known him...damn. I've opened up and let him in and we talk like we've known each other for years. He stimulates me on more than one level, and that is something that I haven't had happen to me in years. I've gone out of my comfort zone with him and worn my heart on my sleeve. I've taken risks I wouldn't normally take.

Awesome, wonderful, fantastic, right?

It should be. Instead, I'm getting ready to leave him and put him in my past. Why would I do something like this and ruin a perfectly good friendship? I know I'm making a huge mistake. I also know that he will read this blog and know what my leaving him means....

If I leave you, I love you.