About 90% of my friends are men. For as far back as I can remember, its always been that way. And even though I've made it abundantly clear to my male friends that we are going to be nothing more than friends, men are still men, and they forget that fact and either ask me out (like one of my male friends just did today), or they forget their place with me.
So I decided something needed to be done about the forgetfulness of my male friends and educate them so they wouldn't be blindsided by my unique perspective.
Once upon a time, I had a sign with "rules" posted on my front door so that every man who entered my house would see them upon their arrival, and always have the sign as a reference guide in case they ever forgot.
So here they are, the "rules" that were posted on my front door.
1. Please don't talk to my breasts. You won't be meeting them.
2. If you want to control someone, sleep with your remote.
3. I always choose chocolate over men-always.
4. 51% love goddess 49% bitch
5. My sexual preference is NO.
6. My body is a temple...now get on your knees and pray.
7. It's not the size that counts, it's...No, wait, size does count.
8. Remember you horny piece of dirt, girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.
9. Save your breath for your inflatable date.
10. Men are like hardwood floors, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever.
So there you have it gentlemen. Please remember the above rules when speaking to me.
-Jack
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lol I'll remember them always. *stares at your breasts* :P
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