Taking Out The Trash

I feel like there's a war going on in my head. It feels like my thoughts are battling for dominance over one another. It also feels like everything I thought to be true isn't really at all. But fuck. There's so much shit in my head, so much garbage. And yet I know that there are also thoughts that are in there that are good ones that I need to keep. I know I need to take the trash out, but how do I discern the trash thoughts (not the sexually explicit ones, haha) from the good? And how does one take out the trash from one's own head...??

I used to think that heart and head were separate. That you have to deal with one differently than the other. But now, I'm not so sure. I'm not sure of anything anymore. Especially when it comes to how I'm thinking or feeling. All my thoughts seem to be broken pieces and not complete, like run on sentences that make no sense.

I don't even know if I'm making any sense. I honestly don't even really know what it is I'm trying to say. But I know there there has been a major change in my thought process this past month. I know that I haven't really let anyone know what I've really been thinking for awhile now. I mean yeah sure, I'm telling everyone all about how I'm FEELING, but not about what I'm thinking. I know my judgement hasn't been at its best lately. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart and matters of the head. And I'm beginning to wonder if the reason my heart has been so fucked up is because my head has also been fucked up.....hmmm.....

Is it possible that my thoughts are actually feelings and not really thoughts at all? Lol, am I losing it? I want so desperately to figure things out for myself but I have no idea where to begin. Not to mention I have no idea what to do with the broken pieces. Do I pick them all up and keep them hoping one day I will find the rest of the pieces to make them complete? Or do I pick them up in a proverbial dustpan and throw them away? And what if I throw away a piece I actually need? GAHHHHHH!!!!

I just want my head to be quiet and my heart not to hurt. Is that too much to ask?